TTYL Love, Welcome Grind

It has happen again
I wanted to give my heart fully
But I guess I was too strong
Too blunt
Too damn me
How can this happen yet again
I wonder to myself really if there is something seriously wrong with me
I cant understand why the action that I place is so wrong
How come when I feel I am ready for something it never happens correctly
I feel as if I am drowning in pain again
My heart is shaking
Breaking
Dying
I remember this feeling
The day I cried myself to sleep
The day I said I would never do it again
How can I ever get rid of this pain
I was building myself for him
I was trying to be everything but my way
I guess in the end I was just too much
I’m crying so much in side
My outside still won’t let me show it
My soul is breaking
He has hurt me and now
Now I am a lone yet again
Only time will tell if this is right
I cant face the pain but it seems it has faced me
Blaspheme ins the word single
And yet here I am again
And this is all because he wont answer my call
I wonder if this is what I must endure to have happiness
Must I be broken to say I am happy
Must I be a official house wife to say my life is perfect with someone
Maybe I should be that chick that demands everything
Maybe I should be that gold digging back stabbing fame thirst bitch
But then I would not be me
I would lose the integrity built for so long
So long ago
Making it is what I must do
And making it is what must happen
God will send me my match
The other half of my soul
Days will go by
Time will fly by
Goals will be met
My heart will mend
Someday I will begin again
But it looks like today is not the day
The year of Love and Happiness is Over
Grinding is my number one priority
Welcome Back Grind