The Worth of Ann Apology

This is dedicated to my first reader

The one that viewed my as human being

To see the knowledge I did nothing in return

But I place comments

Which was ok

But the active of myself reading

Was to say none the less appealing

I couldn’t understand something in my younger days

So I look away and just said ok

But tor respectfully demand something of equal value

I did not share the views of the equal value

It was difficult for me to express my gratitude

Even more to express some of my solitudes

I placed a lot above the one that conversed with me most

All she wanted was a (on some days) a simple hello

Even though I gave such disrespect

This did not stop here written acts

If I could say Im sorry in anyway

This is the way both comprehended by the verbal and the stray

My place to say I am sorry is long over due

So I say I’m sorry in way that may carry some type of value

I am growing slowly but surely

Being verbal is nothing is feedback is not given

I do read some but not all

I share certain incentive but not all

The opinions of others has not been my bother

But the opinions of one has always been my appreciation

If I could her back and all of her wisdom

I would be blessed

But if I couldn’t I would understand
 
That is all.....maybe

 

Dedicated to Anne……the First support of Free Poetry/Speech

 

No Worries

The worry is no more

I can’t keep hiding behind this independent woman

This lady that had to fight

Not just for her rights but also to make away in life

I’m young and by many complements beautiful

My voice makes it ten times betta

My body makes it ten times greater

I can’t tell if I have haters

But for if I did I hope they learn

Hating on me is nothing if it’s not a lesson learn

Bowing down to the most high finally

Telling him here and now I’m sorry

I do give myself material things

What you see is what you get

The basic and not the advanced

It’s hard out here for a single woman

Never knowing if love will accept you

Thinking will a man love you

Cause the goods have been used and maybe abused

I keep to myself for so many varies reason

I order myself accordingly

People even told me they envy me

And all I could say was why me

In life you have a path that’s drawn

You build up on some daily measure have been torn

My talents are my own

Looking at me you could never tell

The future I have could go to hell

But because I remain humble

True as I can be

My future still bright even when it starts diming

I have a family that continues to support me

Fighting to see me succeed

And proud to know that I want for nothing

Everyone has a path to take

And even when the ones around them are fake

They look to God for heaven’s sake

And now I can pray

Thanking him for a new day

This is a confession worth understanding

The world is sometimes evil always demanding

No more buts just understanding

Outstanding.....

She Spits Testimony

I pour my heart out trying to find a median

Working towards a goal

And not receiving nothing

Waiting for an answer

Problematic solution

Working towards a path

Deep in a forest smothering actions

Can’t see the light with branches so thick

And a cloud bank blurring my vision

Sick and tired of failed communication

Seeing myself in twilight created friction

It’s sickening

Worth what is a question I ask daily?

Seeing nothing but trouble brewing all around me

I remain positive as best as I can be

And every day I come home exhausted because it takes so much out of me

Carrying a soul so heavy so deep

Pushing nothing worthless keep

A caliber is what I heard go off

Can’t tell if it’s a new race I started or one I just lost

I remember nothing when it comes down to pain

Seeing the action of another nameless woman

Dying by the waste side

Speaking the truth but found lies

And every 20 seconds another woman has to cry why

And I bare no truth to this game

For every motha fucka has a hand out

Blame game

Preach nothing to about the bible I say nothing to my rival

Constantly looking to take my title

Now you tell me who's preaching to the choir

Fuck a choir

I am the conductor

I command nothing less than a 6 piece orchestra

Listen to my words

Cause you can’t see my face

You’ll never see the tears run across the brown skin pavement

This is something that is dear to freestyle this shyt

Is nothing its mere?

I come n go like the air I disappear

Having mofos wondering nothing if I appear

So I stay to myself

Do me till I die

And look to heavens never again asking why

All I do is try

Testify.........

Her Lonely Story

Another night laying down looking at the light rise

Looking to the left and right for another set of eyes

I wonder many times

How I survived

Having brief moments without satisfaction

Not understanding this mere attraction

And looking for nothing but affection

Discrimination

Is it a part of me to be this willing

To say I’m full when it’s not filling

 To yell to sky I’m alone

And the closest dude answers with a bone

What an undertone

All of this just by the phone

And they wonder why I don’t keep numbers

 Leave the taste of it to my past

And reminisce nothing

Let the feeling pass on my addiction

To curve my body aliments and afflictions

Simple am I

Nothing to call my own

But to call is to wonder

Nothing like the outside thunder

Only to it come and go he always put asunder

Watching my world go up

Being drastic in parts

I can’t remember when doing it was so satisfying

Had someone catering purely to my body

Making me wish this would end

From sun up to sun down and back again

Freedom in a world of chains

Powerful he came

And I lay there thinking it’s all the same

What a shame

Another experience he's tired...done ...thru

And I’m wondering what the job has for me to do

Maybe it’s because I have been trained

Or maybe it’s the man...men...or something

Whatever it is the feeling will pass

And another turn of the hour glass

I lay waste to the lust of my past

And let them consider me as another piece of ass

And maybe I’ll say to them

With it, it’s just another stick

No pleasure just pain

Can’t even embrace something like that again

And lay there wait for clothes to come on

To return to my empty bed wrapped up in a ball

Talk on the phone about another worthless brag

And think nothing of my self

How I out last

Silly of me to be this naive

Silly of me to say that’s not me

Please.......

To Vent PT.2

It’s not fair of today’s questionable manifest

How the destination varies from day to day

The ones you wish you could take

But you leave alone resting in God’s hands

They call it hope some call it faith

To watch another slip away they probable call it destiny

To breech this hold inside your heart

To understand the world

Your mind would be torn apart

Where in the hell do I start?

To grasp it in my hands

To be counterfeit to an average man

To kill myself in perfect talents

To see my life fade being dangerous and careless

To wake every morning wondering about a schedule

To walk at night to see the earth's misery

Nothing but a law of average

Broken worst scenarios

Personal I could say fuck it but where would I be

I continue to hear the death of so many

The pains and heartaches of my friends and associates

I place myself on level every nigga can understand

And every day I failed to recognize a real man and his master plan

To break these shattered already walls

To sit and pause for what cause

I could die today see enemies hover around me

Saying she was great, wonderful and never fucking knew me

See all my sex partners partake in my wake

Shed tears not because they loved or hated me

Cause of good pussy none wanted to claim

So they shake their heads saying what a waste

I honestly walk this earth alone

In a place where niggas knock on my door calling my house there home

I preach to people who don’t understand I am not average

I am an upcoming woman

Being me fuck it’s not me

I open my mouth and people flock to me

Not because I’m pretty, not because I’m fair

Because my honest truth and ask everyone do you dare

Do you dare say I’m fake?

You present bullshyt everyday

Do you dare listen to my voice get hard then walk away?

Wait till no one’s around to spit your game

I back away telling niggas get in a betta mind frame

I’m advance

I was built this way

From my voice, my walk my morals

All the way down to my sex talk and who I lay

I’ll never admit to saying I’m a man-made chick

Built for any man with a dick

I have knowledge, give knowledge all of it would make you sick

Every day you don’t get it you calling me a silly bitch

I’m not thru believe me

This is To Vent PT. 2 look out for PT. 3