True Lovers Thoughts

I can not shed tears
I can not cry over spilled milk
I can not place myself on a border that clearly is not for me
I can not spend my time wasted on something is clear to fail
It is nothing but my time
And I need to use it wisely
Nothing is set in stone
He speaks I listen
I speak he rhymes
Its simple how our relationship works
But a friend is what I need
A boyfriend is not
Even now I think about it and I wonder greatly to myself
Is the time spent then worth it
Is the passion that could have been there great
Can the honesty in me be so powerful that it cause he to leave
Where is the love
The answer……not in me
At least not right now
This is how I feel right now
At this moment
At this time
Not more
No less
And yet it disguise my other feelings to damn precisely
Crazy on how I can just go my own way
How my phone rings and I pray that its him
How I worry myself to death if he is ok
And he hasn’t left yet
How I want to be there when he takes his test
How I ant to critic him when others would lie in comfort
Seeing all of this only makes me realize
I am capable of love
I can love at anytime
And when love desires me and not I desire it
Then the world will be told about it
I will tell it like the disciples told about Jesus
They will hear my voice all the way to the roof
And down to the deepest parts of the sea
But for now I am at sea level
Calm mellow and free to move about the country
And until the stability that is needed is pronounced
I am single