The Killer Within

How can I be such a fool

To tear the first of none from this world

I crushed a soul flourishing within me

To hand off a small piece of my insecurities

To shadow fears of unknown touch

To battle a war of unforgiven ranges

I place no calm on this subject

I have created a sin

A sin so great the devil could not contend

To look down on me with eyes so low

To say that even i have conquered his thrown

I have destroyed pure so close to God

Even the devil could marvel at the radiance

But i have placed a cloud darkest silver lining

To draw it near and throw it far

To pour despair at it

To crush it

For a short moment the beauty was so near

To kill is a death sentence that i cant not fear

I deserve to die for this crime

Crime against love

Crime against a man that was ever so kind

To bridge a gap torn by my shallow created tornado

I cry daily, throughout my hours

Rivers of the salt infested tears

He sees and declines

I cry more to distance myself from the love of God

To make my self ghost in his presence

To drown myself to not see his light

To share such love....no to destroy such love

Is to destroy the love that was once given to this world

I have made it very clear

I am selfish

I am nothing but a sinner

Committing crimes where ever i go

To partake in this life is to accept a broken heart

To share the love that doesn't dwell here

Is to lose your soul in a black abyss

I have destroyed what ever light i could futuristically see

His eyes flow red

Skin turned cold

Mind now hazy

All because i did not commit

Waiting for a feeling to result deep within me

Waiting for a click when the switch was him from the beginning

This is the life i have been given and yet darkness i share with those who follow me

I should die for such disgrace

I should be committed for such high crimes

I should give up my search of values and trades

Live in the new created solitude now built for me

All of this, sentence to life then sentence to death

I deserve it all, he deserve none