Sensual Difference....Confusing Affections

Different

I have never decided on a feeling with such an after effect

To push this to see something form

Why don’t I brag harder?

Have that OMG moment

How come this time it’s different?

With others it’s fun

I laugh, I'm flustered, and I am sprung for days

Have a feeling between my great divide and now

For the first time there is little to nothing

My visual mind was not touched nor truly tempted

The decisions of my motions given was like a slow notion

Something like smooth breezy ocean

Directions was given

A grind was placed and fit action was taken

I didn’t have that worrying moment but thoughts of I want was showing

It’s almost as if the devil said you got it now go compare

Sit down wonder if that was your best encounter

Have regrets about this option

Have regrets on the moves and notions

Think about it less and less till it becomes a distant memory

Don’t wait for a response

Don’t wait at all

This was one time

Something to never be experienced again

And yet all of this I am almost in agrees

I was over it in a day

I told my friends in lesser details that I would with others

At this point it’s almost describable when others I’m lost for words

So I let my feelings speak for me

Let my inner broken down walls use my fingers to paint an imagine

But I don’t have that

What is this?

Is this the first time where I have literally felt not a pulse

I have no showing of weakness

The music has no memories stamped permanently on my mind

What is this?

All I do now is wonder

Not really wanting to do it again but something inside tells me that this feeling is a shadow

Something is clearly wrong

That everything is mixed up but has an order

Weirdly enough where I cannot place a finger I can

Where I should be drifting in and out of a musically orgasm I'm not

So what should I do about this particular feeling?

I really don’t know