I have not entered much
I have not kepted my ear to the ground
I kepted my eyes on the prizes that was thought to be mine
I touch hills that swore to hurt me no more
I soared beyond the lands that remained familiar to me
And yet no I can not breathe
I am shallow
No commitment in this heart
I shoot the world down with my magnum and said do not move
I gave the world no hope of maintaining faith that is me
So what did I do
I committed murder
I went out my way to commit such crimes that bore everything against me
So now I am arrested for such crimes
With a judge such as God that sees straight thru me
He saw that his judgment wasn’t enough
I had to withstand trial
I had to go thru my life
Every detail
Every pain staking moment
See where I went wrong
Endure everything that has brought me to this murderous point
Why did I shoot this life
Why did I ruin such a future to only have power and recognition
Why did I pull the trigger on this soul that kept me so close
Yet I drove my self to raise the weapon
To let these bullets fly
Thinking I had the options to make it thru
Like I had more to offer but nothing to really gain
So now I sit in front this jury of all my personalities
I see what my happiness used to looked like
I saw the ways compassion stared at me
I even say sorrow and pain hold back tears as they say themselves in the film
Even my lawyer who looked down at me
Like a case given to it only to lose on purpose
Something not even worth preparing for
I realized everything thru exhibits A, B, and C
Each piece of evidence another nail in my coffin
Even the judge was thinking she can do better with lethal injection
So no everything was said
I wanted cry so much on what was said
God look at me and said did you have enough
Did the ways of your present shake your future
Did your past actions make you think
I could not speak
I could not move
For the bailiff grabbing my arm shaking me into reality
Telling me to answer the honor on high
All I could say was I’m sorry
Then the strike of the gavel
Sound of the mighty trumpets
I heard my verdict
I sentence you to death
Your life has been used, abused
You have taken the gift I have offered you for granted
The child bore in my image has taken upon her self to carry the dangers of man
The son I sent to pay for the sins you have committed was great
Death is the only way
All of a sudden my eyes closed
I could not open them
I wondered if this was the end of me
I thought to myself that this is all because I did not see
I did not open my eyes to everything
All because I wanted it all
But did not realize I had it all
Slowly I open my eyes to see myself in a room
My room
My bed
My place
This was a dream you see in the movies
This was my wake up call
God’s way of saying begin again
Killing this ambitions of a childish girl
Replacing with the integrity of a grown woman
I was reborn
Remade
And now brand new
Beginning again with life number two
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