The Murderers Awakening

I have not entered much
I have not kepted my ear to the ground
I kepted my eyes on the prizes that was thought to be mine
I touch hills that swore to hurt me no more
I soared beyond the lands that remained familiar to me
And yet no I can not breathe
I am shallow
No commitment in this heart
I shoot the world down with my magnum and said do not move
I gave the world no hope of maintaining faith that is me
So what did I do
I committed murder
I went out my way to commit such crimes that bore everything against me
So now I am arrested for such crimes
With a judge such as God that sees straight thru me
He saw that his judgment wasn’t enough 
I had to withstand trial
I had to go thru my life
Every detail
Every pain staking moment
See where I went wrong
Endure everything that has brought me to this murderous point
Why did I shoot this life
Why did I ruin such a future to only have power and recognition
Why did I pull the trigger on this soul that kept me so close
Yet I drove my self to raise the weapon
To let these bullets fly 
Thinking I had the options to make it thru
Like I had more to offer but nothing to really gain
So now I sit in front this jury of all my personalities
I see what my happiness used to looked like 
I saw the ways compassion stared at me
I even say sorrow and pain hold back tears as they say themselves in the film
Even my lawyer who looked down at me
Like a case given to it only to lose on purpose 
Something not even worth preparing for
I realized everything thru exhibits A, B, and C
Each piece of evidence another nail in my coffin
Even the judge was thinking she can do better with lethal injection
So no everything was said
I wanted cry so much on what was said
God look at me and said did you have enough
Did the ways of your present shake your future
Did your past actions make you think
I could not speak
I could not move
For the bailiff grabbing my arm shaking me into reality
Telling me to answer the honor on high
All I could say was I’m sorry
Then the strike of the gavel
Sound of the mighty trumpets
I heard my verdict
I sentence you to death
Your life has been used, abused
You have taken the gift I have offered you for granted
The child bore in my image has taken upon her self to carry the dangers of man
The son I sent to pay for the sins you have committed was great
Death is the only way
All of a sudden my eyes closed 
I could not open them
I wondered if this was the end of me
I thought to myself that this is all because I did not see
I did not open my eyes to everything 
All because I wanted it all
But did not realize I had it all
Slowly I open my eyes to see myself in a room
My room
My bed
My place
This was a dream you see in the movies
This was my wake up call
God’s way of saying begin again
Killing this ambitions of  a childish girl
Replacing with the integrity of a grown woman
I was reborn
Remade
And now brand new
Beginning again with life number two

Ye Do I

Ye do I walk thru the valleys of the shadows of death
Yes I felt evil
I saw things that made no sense
To the sane I was insane
No respect to the obligations that was giving to me
I did not see what I had until it was gone
To the readers of my past 
To the supporters of my futures
Yes I was naive
I made myself so hard when all along I was nothing
I was nothing but the product of my surrounds
And venturing to an outside world with nothing was stupid
I should have known better
I took so much for granted til granted said enough
It fell with tears of pain and anguish
It yelled at me with anger and pressure remorse
And like a fool I failed to listen
So I went about my life thinking I was that chick
But finding out I was nothing but this empty valley
Slowly turning into a desert
All because I did not invite the waves and waters of those around me
I allowed the plants and vegetation to die
All because I did not nurture my soil properly
Yes I neglected it all
And I thought being alone was the answer
Being tough in a world where only the tough survive
Ye do I walk thru these sandy valleys with only my shadow
The only dark figure to keep me company
The only thing that give me chilling remembrance of my ignorance
Yes…ye did I walk
I could apologize until the cows come home
I could take the time preach the lines of I’m sorry
But would waters and plants of my valley really listen to the time that has gone by
Would they forgive this woman whose childish rendition of  life took hold
Would they forgive this evil that dwelled in me and told me to only think of one
I don’t know
All I can do is pray
That the ways of my words gets to their hearts
That my valleys will flow again of ears that listened with heart felt compassion
I sincerely wrote my life down now I change my endings
I am no longer sincere
I will say…

Thank You

From The Writer to Readers

Sabbatical...Over

So I took a sabbatical to get some things in my life straight. I really did not think it would last this long but it did. Surprising enough I had the opportunity to meet several people who gave me the best advice about life and why people play their part in it. Last year I did not realize how much  but now I do. So this year I will be blogging about a few more things instead of just poetry. I have started 3 different regimens and a new place to begin it all in. So in the year 2012...welcome to my world...officially.