Will You....

I promise to throw my black book away
I promise to stay
I promise to pray
Will you give me time to show my heart
Will you tell me the promise of your life
A  family that will keep us together
A love so strong none could kill
I promise not by the moon
The damn thing got too many fools tryna come to it
Always trying to build but can’t fall thru
But with me I will do what I have to do what I have to do
I promise not by the sun
These damn scientist keep saying that some day it will burn out and fade
But with me I will put a shine you heart
Forever glow with passion and understanding
With this….Will you marry me?

Sincerely Yours,
My Vows

His Forbidden Fruit

Delicious I say
He is what he is to me
Craving him every night is breath taking
Crying for him is devastating
I wonder day to night, night to day
If his love is worth rumors or do they exceed him in other ways
I would launch a thousand battle ships to defend the honor of his love
I would create a barrier of my time and commitment to keep him from harm
A love so clear a blind man could see
A love so thick, thicker than  a can ultra sheen hair spray
Saying all this is just words alone
If he  comes to be actions is my next step
Not to scare him but to respect him
I will say what I feel
Feel what I feel
Show what I feel
And then give what I feel
I would understand him and not nag him
I would praise him but five levels away from God

I’m not trying to go to hell for idolatry
Overall he is the one I wish to sink my life into
So should try him
Should test this thing I wish commit my sin
Should curve him to will that body ha to offer

Or should I continue to look from a distance with interest
Silence……silent I am
And silent I will remain
Until I can taste him

Sincerely Yours,
Stan

Waiting For Everything

As I sit here wondering when my life will take a turn

I fold my arm and ask "Where do I belong?"

I can't stand standing still

I move to much, up down and around everything

I unfold my arms to invite everything

But my mama told me that it is not good to invite everything

Somethings are meant to be left alone

But this world has a way of shutting you out

Making you look down and feel so cold

I could try to dissected it

I could try to heal and disinfect it

But the wonder in me is great

To explore where I have never been

Something call my own in a different mind state

I wonder how often this will last in me

So I fold my arms and wait patiently

Wait for a sign to come to me

Sincerely Yours,

Contemplation

Out of The Blue

Its funny how these things come to me

I cant understand how people who I have never met greet me

It is unusual day in and day out how I say "I don't know you"

But that makes people want to get to know me more

I cant understand this strange thing

They say that they are drawn to me

By some force or something

I can't figure out why I am such a target

But why question why the Lord chose these people for me

I don't question who come to me

Maybe this is away for me to see

If I belong here or if I should leave

Sincerely Yours,

Strangers

I Am...

I am who I am
God still loves me
I am created in his image
Even if the world sees me differently
I walk everyday like a normal man/woman
I can release anger like the normal man/woman
I am different cause people call me as such
I get called names cause the world doesn't no me that much
I walk and talk but they close their ears to me
Like there is no way I am in this reality
So I continue my life without normal supremacy
I gave now I take back
I continue to walk proudly
I am who I am
God still loves me
For any man/woman come against me
Him.... up above protects me

Sincerely Yours,

My Life

Who Is She?

She is a woman of mystery
A woman untouched by ignorance
Not broken by high society rules and bridges
Not drawn by the artist of politics and constitutions
She makes up her own rules
Not caring about the worlds view
Not bowing down to the destruction's that they for tell to her
She becomes rooted in the way of her own
She drives the world insane with her voice
A voice powerful and strong
Debates of her cause is never resolve
She is a mystery to every man
She draws them to her like bees to honey
Sweet is she deadly in her strut
She leaves them in the distance
They never flow close to her
She is hot like fire, cold like ice
She is not consider promiscuous or shaded as nice
She is the envy of every little girl
Enemy to every dedicated housewives
The world ask over again
Who is this woman bold and free
Who is this woman and how can you get her next to me
So the answer is given.......
She is me...
The one that remains tall and free
Me that comes and goes as she please
*Applauds* 

Sincerely Yours,

Original

My Wants

I feel lost in my own world
No where to go
Nothing to live for
I want love in my life
I want things that will be there for always
I want a heart that can flourish
I want a place where I can call home
A place where all that matters is the love and care of me
I want this love to embrace me every other night
And to open me to higher flights
I dream of secrets left untold
I open doors that remain open
I praise God with his great glory
For giving my heart another shot at soaring
Passion is what I want in my life
I want a caring individual to open everything that seems right
I want the love of another to bless me emotionally, not just physically
I see the world in a different eye when another is around
But this thing I cant find so near
I must fly far to get what I want
So I wonder will there be something out in this world  for me
Something so generous and open
I want to pray for something but I know better to ask for it
But I want it so much
I can't hold so much passion inside and expect not to release
Only drive my self crazy
Everything gets to hazy
I just hope one day it doesn't fade

Sincerely Yours,

Longing

Fustration

What is wrong with you

You give me the same things over and over

This is not a request line

Your actions are worthless

That's why I can denie you

I can go to someone else all the time besides you

I can see myself using you as a last resort

But getting that far I'd rather we stay apart

You have grown to be nothing to me

All the way down to the text messages

Someday I will tell you no more

I think today is the day

No more of this I say

Never More

Sincerely Yours,

I'm Through

Placement....

I won't move without his say so
I won't make a sound without his order
He controls all that forms me
All that makes me up into the thing I have become
I carry no will without his offer of salvation
I drop my eyes to continue respect
Turn my head when we commence in sex
I lay there waiting for hands to move
He guides everything
From the way I talk to the stride in my walk
He dresses me so others won't see me
He says its because I'm beautiful
That no man should look at beauty but he
That the only person that should love me is he
We come home together like clock work
He leaves me home like clock work
My chores everyday left on the counter
I do them in the time given always 7.3 hours
I make sure dinner is served to his liking
I make his drink afterwards to his liking
For days/months/years he comes home at exactly 8:30
Dinner is waiting, drink is too
Now he is getting sick
Can't do the things he use to do
No more lay down sex
No more dinner at 8:30
In a weeks time his reign over me ended
Was it because he was getting old
Growing tired of his routine
Or was it the poisons I put in his whiskey water mix
The drugs laced in his soap
Or the ailments on his clothes
This way I regain my control
I even can reclaim my soul
Am I wrong to do such things
Is it so wrong I wanted to be free
But in his perfect world that wasn't meant for me
So I gave myself a way out
Over his dead body he said
A woman should stay in her place
By her husband's side
So by his side I shall be
Til death do us part....so shall it be

Sincerely Yours,

Desperate House Wife

Time

First off let me say thank you
With you I did somethings I should not have
I gave you things that only with marriage I was capable of
I open my body in ways meant for my significant other
I bore my heart in my stomach to drown feelings that could be for another
You gave me time...
Time to wake on my own
Roll over to see your face
The time to smell your scent all over my face
If things were different
If individuals would have stayed away
I would have gotten up in a wifey kinda away
You layed my body down like a man lays down a woman
You used my body and I enjoyed it
I inhaled your scent which aroused me further
I could have sex with you for hours
I couldn't stop the touch
My lips were constantly on you
I layed beside you after getting off of you
My body said more....you gave me more
I said don't stop and you obey it
When the light came you didnt stir nor move me
I woke like God said to wake up naturally
I couldn't understand how you treated me so equally
I should have been out the common time I came in
But I spent the night
Again and again...again and again....I came with actions
I moaned with pleasure
You tell me things that will last me til years after
I won't question this feeling, wont question at all
The failure to hide parts of my heart
You've penetrated it all
So this is something I've kept for years
I won't break up a happy home
I will hide my dying love and ideas
Until the end of time

Sincerely Yours

?

He Said

Hi,

I want to tell you what he said

He said he would love me

He said he would give me the moon and the stars up above

He said at our wedding he would fly doves

He said he would never leave me nor forsake me

He said he would never lift a hand against me

He said that my love was the only one

He said he could look beyond my past

He said with these vows we would have a great future

He said that everything between us would last

Six years pass.....

He said he is not happy

He said that my love is not enough

He said that men before him could do anything

Why am I saying no to him every other night

He said my body not what it use to be

The kids changed me drastically

He said that he hates coming to a empty house

Forgetting that his two boys and myself are here

He said that there is nothing I can do

He said over and over I have no more use for you

He said so much I couldn't stand it anymore

So I said......

GET GONE LOVE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Sincerely Yours

No More

Her Nightmare...

Alone...
Married into a life that is clearly not meant for me
But every night I sleep, dreams scare the shyt out of me
Like waking up to a nightmare wasnt enough
Dreaming of my nightmare
I felt crushed
It wasnt easy making my way out
I felt down and depressed no pill could help
I had too much to live for
I wasn't rich nor was I poor
I could die every night this nightmare came to me
I could shed tears opening my eyes to the same thing again
Family and friends could never understand
This pain was attacking even as I stand
I felt drained and powerless to every helping hand
I drowned my sorrow with shots in each hand
How can I get out I feel trapped
This nightmare comes home with back hand slaps
The violence I wish it would stop
I scream in my dreams for this hell to go
But it continues to kill my soul more and more
I pray to God are you ready for me
Is this your way of saying my name is written down already
My life with these nightmares seem so common
But there worse now I'm completely drowning
Lord please guide my soul
The devil is winning
The body is so cold
I sleep this time without nightmares
My eyes this time sleep away without care
I say to these nightmares farewell to it all
Take your scares
I fall no more

Sincerely Yours

The Lonely Dreamer

For Years......

For years I have stayed by your side
To listen when no one else heard your silent cries
To rid myself of judgment of you
To understand how your heart went from sunny yellow to icy cold blue
I remembered the simple talks before walking
I cherished everything down to the calling
I remember so much in these years of comfort
To end by feelings lost and distorted
I couldn't image not having you near
You made your bed so cold with lies smear
Every night was uncommon fear
Our bodies together created such bliss
I swear most of all that is what I will miss
I can't share my pain with you anymore
I can't open my heart to you anymore
Your dead to me like those years in the grave yard
You buried my heart...alone...without any regard
I can't express anymore what you meant to me
Only to say you were everything
For these years I shared my body
You shared so less...so low...so confiding
I'm telling you this the best way I can
The years we had are no longer in demand
I refuse to rely on such cold shallow streams
Just another wrong man claimed as a fantasy
I'm gone...this is my secret letter to you
For the next few years I have nothing to say to you
My dark skies will go away thats true
Because I no longer have you
With these words I say I'm through
I nolonger cry because of you....

Sincerely Yours,

Freedom

Extra, Extra...Read All About Me

I write because I'm happy

I write because it frees me

I write to show the world the inner beauty

I write because I'm angry

I write because I bleed

Bleeding words of rhythm & rhyme

Only a true poet can see

I write for my confessions

I write to release

I write to share my darkest

Or maybe I write so someone can snap fingers & relate to me

I write because I'm crying tears always unseen

I write because one day I want someone to tell me

Don't write any more

Speak open and free

Speak so people can hear you

Speak clear and openly

But til then I write for all to read...

All about me

Sincerely Yours

Newspaper

Compatible Mystery

How does he do it?
The image...a man that sings to my soul
Voice kinda unusual 
Open as little as possible
He is someone of power strong and unbroken
Answer questions but does not give many tokens
I see myself wanting to be free 
But even at night he is a mystery
Driving my soul insane
Trying my best to maintain
I say again....how does he do it?
Controlling my body with grace and fineese
Driving my body visually undress
If he wasn't their I would pull him near
Kissing him slowly driving away all the fears
Fears of not knowing heightens the curiousity
Dangerous is the path flown a great velocity
Dreaming on by picture alone
Every time he speaks, I adore his tone
Secret is not really what he is to me
But secret I am to his reality
I am not known to the masses in his world
Just a another random girl
Intriguing he said a loud to his party
Party of four spoken by me...me, myself, I and hubby
I swear his voice continues to touch me
In place one day I want him to fuck me
I carry no censorship when comes to any of his endeavors
I want to give every inch of my pleasure
But I think its good that we remain apart
Only God knows what will start
So I write my passion to ease away
The desires to touch him over and over again
Someone that is truly meant for me
Continues til this day to be.....
A Mystery

Sincerely Yours

Cali-Dream

We Freaky

Porno freaky nasty suggested
Pin pointed flips on those lips
Taps on the shoulder...Is the movie over?
Back to reality
Where slow motion passion
Turns to straight fuckin'
Dominating structures
Objects always used
Powerful cummings in every scream
Relief comes when I say I'm done
What fun
Be mad every time we put our clothes back on
But it turns us on what we put back on
We nasty drastically freaky
Over come by our....
hmmm really no description
Things we do should be fiction
But we, every night make it action....yes
We even video phone (lol)
Don't judge us

Sincerely Yours

Marriage

Request..........Who?

I am open to do what ever

At the slightest request
Driven to do what ever
Always striving to be the best
I ask...
Is it wrong of me to know certain things
To know how to maintain
Or even behind close doors how to entertain
Open with actuality
Pleasing non-stop with the utmost accuracy
Yes...I aim to please
I'm only a tease cause you ask me to
Rarely do I bleed, so it go down when ever you want it to
All this freedom I give to you
Nothing in return? Yes it true
I won't ask nothing of you
Cause we are not together
Your not my boo
So there is nothing that compels me to you
I'm just another vessel
Your just another tool
Waiting to be used and screwed
So do what ever, at your request
In my eyes I treat you just like the rest
Then go home to no contest
I go home to the best
The one who I make my request...(lol)

Sincerely Yours

Operator

I Ignored

This I swear this was not planned
I didn't intend to keep him
One time was the factor to how it felt
But the inner part of my body just started to melt
So I........ignored
I ignored the fact we met so open and honestly
I ignored the fact the directions were said so completely
I ignored the way we motioned each other in front of company
You brought me around like we carried no secrets
Like all of this was apart of me
I ignored the times when I entered your place
Not quite greeted with a smile but still with swagger and grace
I even ignored the thing we didn't use
No rubber.....but he was careful
And in my ignorance it felt so damn good
I ignored the world that you lived in
Even the bed you shared another in
I was not the hoe sent home after a mere two hour session
I spent the night waking up to my own transgression
Leaving in the morning not three or four
But leaving pass ten, noon...oh yes this shyt was hardcore....
Missing classes and all types of shyt
Yes this is all true
All the things we did through and through
But the one..... that came home came for you
She return when I sometimes wish she stayed away
I kept her bed warm
Her instruments happy
I ignore the fact he had someone drifting in his present
Thought I was doing a favor by maintaining her normal endeavors
Made sure he stayed happy so things wouldn't change
But It did change.....It changed me
So with all this I ignored
In my body his owned dick was stored
The owner return, reclaimed her property
Honestly....Pure Honesty I ask
Why did I ignore?

Sincerely Yours

Ignorance

Strangest Thing

As I lay
I think about my partner who has kept me
The one I call when my body is horny
The unsatistifed hunger that builds in me
The unmotivated speaker that drowns my body in tastless sex
The one who prides his self in conversations filled with blank subjects
The uncomfortable individual that has never made a tingle
No right leg jitters
No voice controlled stutters
But a edge taken off to last days
My body's continuous phase
How disturbing upon a text I recieve
Only to proceed to short cumming
Yes I'm constantly decieve
To make this one realize they have accomplish much
To go home and explain another fake cumming and lying touch
But I continue to return for one it will be done right
No promises are done in either sight
But everything once initiated at night
Now....sometimes is initiated in the light
Strangest thing about my sex escapade
I take the time continue this blank sharade
Not stopping the meeting
Not stopping the touches or convo
Raise questions every time I go
When will I get my big O
Strange, huh?

Sincerely Yours

Alley Kat

Profiler

It's strange how my instincts to profile someone has become even greater as the years have gone by. I have a very strong mindset for ppl who send me pictures but do not want to give me a desccription of themselves. I do not know why they feel that the picture will satisfy my curiousity about them so I profile them.

It is as simple as looking at a picture and determining the height, weight, skin color and physical features from a photo. If you the type of person that have flaws and take pictures to hide that flaw and think no one will find out....trust I will. Most of my boyfriend that sent me pictures of themselves saying they got ripped or maybe a little fat no better than to send me anything cause I will see it for what it really is. It is a true that a Picture never Lie so why should I when you ask for my opinion on it.

Mainly it is a very interesting trait to have when guys feel that a picture give them chances at something like oh I don't know like pussy. But sending a picture says more than oh your cute. It says this is who you are and this is what I have to look forward to. I'm sorry but if something looks wrong I will say it before anything is taking to any other level. I am not perfect but what I am is picky and very particular about who comes around me.

So in the end, what I am looking for is very hard to say, I can't say im looking for a hot guy or a not so hot guy but once it is established in my head then I will know, call it a gut feeling.....

Welcome and Warning

Welcome to my Blog........

              Now that that is out the way lets get down to the point of this. over the years spent at NSU and even my Military life I have been asked many different kinds of questions that normally you would either

A. lose friends even family over,

B. Your embarrass to ask those around you cause you are afraid of them turn/shutting out or 

C. you just want the opinion of someone who (minus your friends) won't lie to you and give you the hard core facts.

             So I said to myself let me do what some people fear on a daily basis because of society and the proper way of shutting yourself down into a tiny ball only to be unraveled by someone who can acknowledge your existence. So here I go...... This will be the place where everyone will get a lick including myself. I have maintained this way of speaking for a very long time, so now I ask you the public based on your life and the bullshyt that you can't explain, anonymously ask me and I will give my answers with honest, loyal, and blunt answers that you so well deserve.

Sincerely yours

Alley Kat