I told him I did not want him anymore
I lied a little bit
I miss him for other reason than sex
I miss the laying down
I miss him behind me
I miss him in a way a wife misses her husband
I miss him like a family that watches their son travel overseas
I miss him like a mother missing her son that's at college
I miss him like....indescribable
I miss him is my point
I could say reconcile is easy but its not
I can not do what my past has already taught
I have learned this lesson
To go back and re-do it is wrong
But I miss him
I just want him to lay next to me for a little while and leave
Leave before my heart says stay
Louder than my own voice
I want him to leave so I can not have the options
The options to relive the pains that brought the break up
I can honestly say that the way I am is clear but a little pleasure is so wrong
I can control myself
I can go on without this feeling
But as a single woman I do have my moments
I can go back to the weak
The non-feeling
The worthless and orgasm less
But I know what my true sensation feels like
I know what the ways of my inside being turned inside out feels like
I miss that
I miss the taste of him...sweet to the tongue like honey
Parts I greet with open hands, mouth....hmmm legs
I miss him for his compassion towards me
I miss him for the times he stood up for me
Over all I miss him but I know I can not have him
So I keep my heart tamed
I try to keep it contained
Hoping that someone comes around to give me
Give me some of what I have felt from him
From missing to waiting....never ending cycle
Sincerely Yours,
Muse
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