Making life difficult to see
Praying that life will stop being a mystery
Going day in and day out
Fighting to be announced
Having a man understand my willingness to succeed
But seeing the threats of defeat
Broken promises
Angry action met
Only excuses to speak
Seeing another bleed
Another bleeding for me
And started the stream cus I cut them too deep
Screaming God why me
You created a child with determination and creativity
But what blossomed was tears and insecurities
Piecing together hurt and pain
I guess this something I have live they again
You never took my power of love
Never granted me the requirements of hate
But the independence of me to be great
Cost the greatest future blessing in fate
So I'm paying for everything I've done wrong
I'm paying the cost of the fast lane and fancy car
I'm paying for the broken routines
Down the lack of courage to explain
That I do not have eveything
This a cost to steep for my pockets
A debt I continue to pay
So many have come and gone
But only a few stood the fight
Waited for a Queen that continues to wear a fools crown
And everyday I'm not proud
It's not easy being this way
So I set rules and guards to make everyday seem ok
But at the end of the day it's dark inside
The false lights die every time
And the one that wants to be my battery
Can't be my light cus even he is out electricity
So I return to the city of lights and lies
I dive into my old boring life
I return user and abuser of my existence
I remember I have to go home and do the dishes
There is no inner appearance
The outer has no glimmer
Truth is this
I don't have it together
I can not be supplied whatever
I can not accept anything
All because I can not conceive everything
The truth is we are a like but at the end if the night
You have your battles and I'm still fighting the good fight
Only difference is you know when to go home
I don't when to say goodnight
I'll fight to my last breathe believe
Don't stand in my way or I'll mistake you for the enemy
I'll confuse you for something I must defeat
All because you wouldn't follow the plans created
Threats to this ways is seriously what I see
So to get back to me I must eliminate all other possibilities
This includes my heart, my soul and some parts of me
And unfortunately this includes the safety of my baby
I'm sorry for the stupid things
I wish I didn't do......but I do
And because of me we are thru
So back to square one or two
Punishments for crucifix
Bigger than I can bare
And one I dare not share
I know it isn't fair
But I care......but now who really cares
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