Random Heartache Thoughts

Thinking about what could have been

This maybes and could'ves and I silently cry openly

The last bit of feeling for him mis almost thru

Even tho I wanted it to stay so much

Seeing him down

Depressed

Even with someone else is death

But the reasons behind my heartache

The fact that I can't touch him any longer

It hurts but i know the decision made was a must

We didn't do so much to make a difference 

But enough to make memories

I went dumb for the first time

I had him and his dick on my mind

And thru it all I determined that his heart was what I wanted

I was open and ready only to go down yet again

This is hard for me to write let alone say

Maybe it's time I leave this place

Temptation so strong

But I can hold on

Deep breath 

Last look

This is too hard

It's hell getting over what we had done

This is not fun

My sky is empty without my sun

This is draining me 

No matter who i let enter its not the same

The wave i wait for never comes

It's not fair that he doesn't know how concern I am

To thinking I only want him in my bed

But this is nothing short from the truth

Sometimes I feel I have no peace

But it's nothing to him so I stay in my place

Knowing that it has been filled

Maybe it would be easier

But the thought hasnt occurred yet

I feel so drunk off the misery seeing the many faces of dismay

Even asking seems wrong

My thoughts are no longer my own

Picking up the phone is even hard

And I pay that bitch

I wonder finally do I cross his mind

Has he taken me off his list of comfort

Pride

Nothing good comes from it

But it has the power to keep what needs to cherished

This is enough

Time to be verbal