My Worse Love Thoughts

What can I do about him?

What can I do about me?

Something that is going wrong with right intention

But many consequence and repercussions

I can find the reason why

I can’t understand my pains and distresses

I wonder beyond compare if he is for me

Or will he ever take the time realize I’m here

I try my best to love him....from a distance

I try my best to comfort him....from a distance

Between our past

They are constantly whipping our ass

And I find a way to escape so I turn to him

But I’m dominant

He turns to me but I’m way too stubborn and strong

Even when I talk to him on the phone

I feel all so wrong

And nothing is said but I’m grown

I reveal small things that everyone sees

But to him I want to show him that there is more to me

I can say I love you

But just not right now

I can say I want you but how will these words last

Before he ask me things about my past

How long can he say I love you?

When all I’m thinking about is when my light bill is due

I have truly fallen into a rut of all ruts

I have made it simple to leave but very difficult to stay

I have nothing to say

Not even I’m sorry

It’s a shame how something this racks my brain

How all of this feels the same

How I can vent here but not with him

How I can say the worse things but can’t own it

It’s sad to a small level that this love may not happen

Maybe I am his seasonal girl

That when July comes n goes I will no longer be his sapphire girl

That everything that has been made clear

Will turn into something he fears

I’m placing myself in several different binds

I can’t tell the one I love that he can forever be mine

This is too soon for feelings such as these

Something I said I would never or even need

Poor as my heart I feed here

*sigh* I wish he was here.........