Saying things that's not suppose to be said
The words that come and go
Nothing ever is the same
Sounds get louder
Noises arise
Now I can't sleep at night
I have dreams of peace in the walls
I dreams of things that could be present love
But all I hear is the noises next door
I wonder how others make it
I wonder how they last so long
But when I hear the voices
The make me wonder why Lord
So I sit here in my corner
The room that was made for me
As I listen to music to drown out the noises
Sometimes I think its over me
I can't help but wonder why they get louder
Why things hit the floor constantly
Why every time I see one leave
And another always crying
So I say if this is because of me
Then why not leave
Why not see if peace will come without me
But I look at the door
The door next to my door
I open it
I pray for voices to cease
I pray that the door was greeting
I open the door only to see daddy hit mommy
Is this really about me
Is this door next to mine about me
I'm only a child and this is what I see
Maybe they will come together better without me
So I'll close my eyes
Say a prayer
That the door next to mine
Finds peace with one less person here
Sincerely Yours,
ICU
Alley, I'm readng these backwards from your most recent post and I worry so about you. If you are the child of this poem, I understand some of what you are talking about here. I remember feeling these same things, saying the same prayer and ultimately leaving home at an early age to roam the world alone. I went so far as to go to another country. I met my husband here, had children here and learned that ultimately I am not of this country. Returning to my own people was the hardest and the best thing I had to do. I confronted my father and held him in account and I did it before he died. It had to be done, or my ghost would never have rested. Now I go back and forth between countries and know that Ireland is where I truly belong and feel most at ease. I wasted too many years running and I will never run again.
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